passion 2011.

http://live.passion2011.com

William and I have been so blessed, encouraged, and refreshed by this…watch Passion 2011 live stream here and view past sessions as well. Enjoy!

i got this.

Sometimes I let my feelings get the better of me. I have an arsenal of excuses for this: I’m only human. I’m not perfect. I’m female. I’m pregnant. Need I go on? Like you, I realize how lame those excuses are, but isn’t it funny how we justify ourselves when we let our feelings rule our thinking? Feelings are rarely an accurate indicator of reality. I know that this is true, yet I either choose to ignore it or refuse to remember it. Whatever the case, it always leads to trouble and unnecessary tears. This is exactly what happened today.

I began to think about just how soon my precious twins will be here in my arms. We’re looking at 8-9 weeks tops! Am I ready for this?! I reminded myself of how often I fail as a wife and a parent, and convinced myself that I am utterly in adequate, grossly unprepared, and, in my estimation, the wrong person for this job. I concluded that I am in way over my head…which, of course, led to fear and worry. Why is it so easy to give into wrong thinking? Yes, I am inadequate. Yes, I am in way over my head. BUT, I must remember that He is sufficient, and that He is definitely not in over His head! Apart from Him, and His equipping, I am, without a doubt, the wrong person for this job, but He is the one who prepares us and makes us adequate to fulfill His calling.

He has intentionally chosen this for me. He chose Brooklyn and Chelsea, and He chose this particular place and time for their entrance into the world.

Acts 17:24-26, 28a “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’”

What a privilege that He has also chosen William and I to be their parents. So, instead of my fear and worry, I should have a heart of joy and thankfulness. I am not ashamed of my complete and utter need of Him on a moment by moment basis. I would rather be here, in this place, at this time, than anywhere else that could possibly lead me to believe that I have it all together.

So, here is my confession: I don’t have it all together. I don’t have this! BUT, my capable and incomprehensible Lord does. I wouldn’t have it any other way. How thankful I am for His grace and His tenacity in refusing to leave me unmarked or unchanged.

Soli Deo Gloria.

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humble king.

I like days like today. It’s cold and rainy out…the perfect day for staying in with Ayden and William. I enjoyed an amazing cup of chai, and have been looking at the book of James. There is so much for the Lord to teach me in these verses.

James 4:6b-10 says:
Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud , but gives grace to the humble.” Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.

I think I will be studying this book for a while. These words today are what I believe my heart needs to hear. I need to remember that He opposes (acts against and heartily resists) the proud; that He gives grace to the humble.

I love this song by Brenton Brown. It is my prayer today. So thankful that this is the God I serve and who pursues my heart with relentless love. I want to be like you, Jesus; to have this heart in me. You are the God of the humble. You are the humble King.

remaining faithful in the land between.

I love the unity that Christ has established within the church. He designed us to live in community with one another, having unity and fellowship with Himself and with the church. I am always blessed by time spent with His body. This morning I was so encouraged by His Word. As a church, we reflected on “Finding God in the Land Between.” What should we do and what should we remember during the period of waiting between God giving a promise and God fulfilling that promise? We remembered Simeon. The Holy Spirit had revealed to him that he would not see death before he had seen the Christ. Luke tells us that he was “righteous and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon Him” (Luke 2:25, ESV). This man’s testimony is one of faithfulness and obedience in his waiting on the Lord.

The time in between chapters of our lives is an opportunity for incredible growth and nearness to God. The period of waiting does not have to be a time of confusion, nor does it need to feel like stagnation. God grows us in the land between. He shapes our perspective and prepares us for what is to come. Often, the fulfillment of the promise looks very different than what we thought it might when the promise was given. And always, it is much better.

As we wait, we must remain faithful to what we know the Lord has called us to do right now. We must choose to believe God. It is vital that we remain focused on the growth and the work He is accomplishing now in our waiting. We cannot be so preoccupied with whatever we think is next that we become spiritually or mentally absent in the place He has us now. Also, in discerning His leading, we must be careful not to jump ahead of His timing and to remember that He always acts in consistency with His character and His Word. He is to be our focus, not other people and not our circumstances. Our hearts must be alert to the Holy Sprit at work in us. We don’t know how the Lord will choose to fulfill His promise to us, but we can be sure that it will far surpass anything we could dream up. He is the one who supplies the competency for ministry and nothing is too big for Him.

The season that we find ourselves in as a family feels like this time of waiting. There is a call and a promise, but we are yet to experience the fulfillment. Lord, make us faithful in the land between. We are yours. We have heard your Word and we believe you. May our testimony be like Simeon’s. Thank you for your relentless love that is beyond our comprehension.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21



what really matters.

Wow, it has been so long since I have posted on the site! Actually…it’s been so long since I’ve done a lot of things. I have recently been amazed at how many things that have been crammed onto my to-do list – all very important things that really do need to be done and on a timely basis. These things tend to become my “priorities” for the day. It is not bad to be productive. It’s essential, really. But, sometimes, when we try on our own, we aren’t the best balancers. How do I find time for all of these things, while taking care of Ayden, and remembering that I am carrying twins and it’s not healthy for me to go to bed after midnight and get up at 5:30 every morning.

Time is such a valuable and intriguing element of our world. I love that it does not exist eternity…and I won’t have to think about it forever! The Lord has given me such a gift in His Word.

Isaiah 40:28
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.

This reminds be that if He can balance the universe, He can surely balance my life. And He is much better at it! So, Lord, here I am. Here is my list. Your agenda for my day is my priority. You know what I need better than I do, and I trust you. Help me remember that the crumbs on the highchair will be there when I get to them (and Walker is better at cleaning them up than I am anyway…), that playing a game with Ayden is more important than that pile of clothes, and that eternal things are what really matter. Thank you for your incredible patience with me and your continual pursuit of my soul. You are what really matters.

more than enough.

Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:17-19a

Over the past few weeks, for whatever reason, I have returned to these verses over and over. They are such a sweet encouragement to my soul. They remind me that He is ALWAYS enough. Sometimes I just need to let this truth sink in.

He is enough for today.

He is enough for tomorrow.

He is enough for what I don’t see.

He is my reason to REJOICE.

Resting in this truth and in His JOY today! Thanks, Lord.